Out of the dark again… (Journal Entry #80)

That… was one of the darkest weeks of my life. I am still not sure I am ready to talk about it. It’s been two weeks to the day. A lot has happened since then.

Theo took my side, and those Jareth buttheads (as Alleah has said) admitted to their actions and accepted restitution.

It fixed our problem at least.

The money they had to pay me covered the cost of the roof, and the forced labor they owed me… well…

They were experienced in construction. And were robust males capable of anything.

That… if I was a firm believer in the goddess, or the Fates, I would say the Fates were benefiting us now. But I am not so foolish.

I will admit, I’ve lost my faith in the goddess. And the Fates.

I started losing it eight years ago when I screamed for her to help my mother.

She hadn’t.

The goddess doesn’t hear our cries—at least she isn’t hearing those of the Woald—any longer.

She hasn’t in a long, long time.

I feel… stronger… than I did a month ago. I’m sorry I stopped blogging for so long. I just… spent most of the time in the healer’s hall just sleeping. Jayi, my healer and a new friend, said that was what I would need to do until the shields formed.

Apparently, I have always been an Empath. It was why I always just felt what those around me were thinking.

The change those buttheads (I really like that word) forced on me destroyed whatever natural checks I had on the gift (Apparently that is not uncommon in those with a little something extra. It is a way to protect us as we age—protect us from ourselves.)

Something happened that unlocked this gift inside of me.

I’m not sure I think of it as a gift at all.

Being able to feel what others feel?

It’s a constant bombardment of feelings. Of everything.

Sometimes I’m not even certain if it’s my feelings now, or the people near me.

Or the people in the next room, or one floor down, or one floor up, or the guards, or Coty and her sisters down the hall…

I’m still building those shields.

Maybe… maybe being at the hotel in my little suite on the sixth floor is a good thing.

If I was around people all day, I don’t know that I could stay sane at all…

I have changed… (Journal Entry #79).

Ambrea was the one who told me. Lead settled in my stomach as I imagined it. “How bad is the damage?”

“Bad,” Riv said. “We’ve got tarps over my room and yours. We moved all of your stuff into the den. And…it’s going to cost over seventeen thousand dollars to fix it.”

Money we definitely didn’t have.

Even with Alaun’s book sales, that was a lot of money.

Dardaptoans didn’t do insurance. Dardaptoans took care of themselves. It was hard to explain why the name on the policies wouldn’t change for centuries, right?

“Can we borrow?” None of us were high earners. And even Alaun… well, in a city of only fourteen thousand, her audience and market were very limited. She was just now starting to sell to some of the other tribes through online portals. And she had to write fast, to keep putting out more and more books, so the income just kept coming.

She did well, but it was still just getting by, according to most standards.

“Not really. We don’t make enough individually, and no one will consider us all together. Now, if one of us had found a mate, or had been born with male equipment down south, we’d apparently be better prospects,” Riv said, bitterly. She handled the finances for all of us, including Alaun’s publishing business. She was good at it. “Less likely to die before we pay it off, apparently.”

But now… she was scared.

I could feel it. More than I have ever felt anything before.

I could feel every emotion my sisters were experiencing right now. I couldn’t shield myself from it. I couldn’t.

Any more than I could shield myself from those Jareths earlier.

I must have whimpered. My hands went to my head.

Riv jumped up and came to me. “It’s ok, Jume. We’ll figure it out. You have enough to deal with right now.”

I just rocked. “No. It’s what they did to me. They changed me. I feel everything. I feel everything you’re feeling, all of you. And the female next door. And the Boltier sisters down the hall. I can’t push the feelings away.

After that, I don’t remember what happened.

Not until powerful arms were lifting me. One guard was there. I didn’t know his name. He was from the Trianu House; I think.

He was worried for me. He just wanted to make me better.

I could feel that, too.

My hands went to my head and I cried. But I let him lift me. He wouldn’t hurt me. I could feel that. He was good in his soul. I could feel that, too.

“It’s ok, female. It’s ok. Just imagine your mind wrapped in your favorite blanket. It’ll hold until we can get to the healers. It’s ok,” he whispered in my ear. Then he made a bunch of nonsense sounds I couldn’t identify. “Focus on my voice, my tone. Push everything else out.

I listened to the crooning sounds he made until I collapsed in a strange male’s arms once again.

What else has happened? (Journal Entry #78)

Keirce registered my complaint that very afternoon. Kellis called Ambrea and filled her and the rest of my sisters in on what had happened. They left Alleah with Dari, our cousin who lives next door. Dari was Julea’s age and her closest friend. Alleah had stayed with her many times before. 

Ambrea wrapped her arms around me and just rocked. Like she had when I was a little girl and a bully had knocked me down on the playground and teased me for the way I struggled to talk.

I’ll admit it: I needed that mothering right then. 

I broke down and cried. 

For all of it. Everything that had happened. Everything that I didn’t know would happen next. 

Here I am, going against the Jareth House. I won’t win, but I want to be heard. 

When I was finally back in control of myself, I looked at the five females surrounding me. I saw bits and pieces of my parents in all of them. The curls were from an ancient ancestress—but the rest was my parents all over again. 

My parents would have spoken out about what Cahum and the rest of them did. 

They would expect that of their daughters. 

I squared my shoulders—I will never do anything that would not make them proud if they were here to see me. 

“I am going to do this. But you need to know, Kierce said there may be fallout. They are powerful Jareth warriors. And I am—”

“You are one of the strongest females I know,” Riv said emphatically. She had been pacing the room for several long moments. 

She was far more agitated than I had seen her since the day we lost our parents. 

It was more than just what had happened to me hurting this sister. 

“You will get through this. We will all get through all of this,” Ambrea said. “No matter what we have to do. We’re Woalds. And Woalds make do.”

“What is going on?” I asked. I just know looking at my sisters that there is something far more going on between them. “What else has happened?”

When do we commoners get the same rights? (Journal Entry #77)

I know the process for reporting crimes and assaults. I have dealt with them in the justice hall for fifty years, after all. 

I swore a formal complaint against Cahum Jareth, Boldek Jareth, Navix Jareth, and Selton Jareth. I told the investigators what each male had done to me specifically, and gave as many details as I could.

I only stuttered a bit when their questions caught me off guard.

Kellis had specifically requested that absolutely no relative of the Jareth Houses step foot in my suite. Instead, there was Kierce and a male wearing Trianu-plum pardus and a generic navy vestis. He had an Adrastos-turquoise hasha tied around his waist. 

He waited patiently while Kierce asked me even more questions, and diligently recorded all of my answers. There was no judgment in his eyes. 

And no recognition. I’ve served this very investigator coffee at least weekly for more than twenty-five years, and I don’t know that he even recognized me.

There goes that Jume-is-invisible thing again.

“I think we have enough, Jume, to swear a formal complaint in with Theo,” Kierce said, giving me a serious look. “And I’ll see that it gets taken as far as it can, but I’ll level with you. No one saw the attack, and there is no physical evidence, and the bruises could be explained by being attacked by Kascarshun demons. And it’ll be the word of five ancient male warriors with well-known reputations against you. It can get—it will get…ugly. How far are you willing to go with this?”

Kellis demanded to know if he was telling me to just let those jerks get away with what they’ve done to me. But I understood. I’ve seen it time and time again in the justice system.

Wealthy Dardaptoans were treated better in our courts, even though Theo tried to see that justice was met for all. With others on the justice bench, that wasn’t always what happened. There were many in that group that were old and wealthy and powerful and completely out of touch with the rest of us.

His phone buzzed. He looked at me. “It’s Cormac. He has questions about Meyka’s disappearance. I need to meet with him after this. As head of the Jareth House, he’ll have to be informed as soon as formal charges are made. The decision is yours.”

If I ever have to deal with a Jareth warrior again, it will be far too soon. But someone has to teach Cahum and his brothers and that evil, stupid guard a lesson. The brothers…I can halfway understand their actions. I had felt their utter desperation, after all. But that guard…that guard hates me. I am absolutely certain of it.

I have done nothing to him. 

“I want them to know that what they did was wrong. Even if no one else knows what happened, I want them to know that what they did will never be right. Wh-when does this end? When do the common Dardaptoan females get the same rights as wealthy, royal warriors have just from existing? What makes them so much more worthy of that than the rest of us?”

It isn’t vengeance I feel. (Journal Entry #76)

One of his brothers came up behind me. He had a vial of some sort. It smelled like herbs. Strong ones. Strong enough of a scent to break through my fear. To turn, to watch him.

I recognized that scent. Demonspirin. 

He held it to my lips while his brother held me. “Take it, Jume. It will help calm the emotions battering you,” Boldek said. Now…I felt his concern. But was it for what he had done to me? Or what would happen next? I could not tell. “It will help you to rest. To not fear or fight any longer.”

They just wanted me quiet for a while; I knew the truth. They were bigger, stronger, determined.

When the demon brew worked on me, I will admit it–I felt…calmer. Less like I was under attack from every emotion they felt. But just like before, it made me so tired I could not fight it.

No doubt that was what they were counting on. I wouldn’t exactly be a threat if I was comatose!

That is all I remember about being in their suite. 

That, and going limp in Cahum’s embrace. His mouth was next to my ear, and he was telling me I would be ok. 

That he would ensure I was safe.

To…trust him. That he would always see that I was safe, no matter what. That I was to drink from him now…

That he would happily provide what I needed.

How could anyone trust him after what he had done?

I knew the truth, even as the darkness swallowed me: I will never be ok again.

Something had changed in me. A floodgate had opened. I couldn’t define it. Not then. 

When I woke, I was back in my own suite! Tucked into my own bed, an extra quilt atop the duvet, too. Someone had put it there—I never sleep with that quilt. It was one my aunt Alita, Theo and Thadd’s mother, had made. I would never risk something happening to it, either.

My mother’s hasha was folded neatly on the pillow next to me. I grabbed it quickly and inspected it for any damage. 

Nothing. 

I couldn’t say the same for me. 

I felt sick to my stomach, and my head was clouded over. 

Damn them. My wrists were bruised where they had tied me too tightly. 

They’d carried me back into my own room.

My own…safe place. Well, I guess it wasn’t all that safe, after all.

That was the final humiliation. 

I looked around my suite; my desk had been ransacked. All of my notes for Alaun were everywhere. Spread out in piles I had not created.

There was a note in the midst of it. 

We’re sorry.

That was it. 

Bastards. 

I understand being worried for their sister. But they shouldn’t have done what they did. Fire of righteousness was filling me and I acted.

The first thing I did was call the one Dardaptoan on the police force that I knew would believe me no matter what. 

Kellis was on her way. 

I searched the suite. Decades of working for Theo had made it clear to me that evidence was vital. The truth-readers and seers need something to work from. 

To my frustration, other than my hasha, my clothing, and that note—which didn’t even identify them—I had nothing.

Even the library books they had touched were gone. 

Those books were expensive. I will have to replace them. 

Damn them. 

I really am starting to despise the Jareth House in every way imaginable. Emotions so erratic and strong were slamming into me, sickening me again. 

Something had changed in me. I just couldn’t figure out what.

Kellis came into the suite, fear on her face. “Jume, what happened?”

I explained to her everything. From the demon attack with Ryrk, to the abduction by Meyka’s brothers. I didn’t cry. I was far too angry for that.

“Meyka Jareth was found this morning. About an hour ago. In a den near here,” Kellis said, slowly. “The Lupoiux Ryrk had nothing to do with the abduction. He rescued her when she was attacked driving home from Dardanos U. He’s her male, Jume. And she is his mate. They have declared it just this morning. Those assholes had no reason to take you at all. No matter how frantic they were to find her.”

Within half an hour, she had Kierce there. 

I could see his anger when he heard of the guard he had assigned just giving me to those males like that. Betraying his duty like that.

Kierce’s anger doubled when I showed him the bruises on my wrists. Kierce photographed them carefully. I think he was actually believing me.

I just…I don’t feel vengeful. Not exactly. 

It’s more anger than a thirst for vengeance. 

But ancient warriors like those Jareths—they thought the rest of us just had to give in to their demands, no matter what. They thought they could act with no repercussion just because of who they were. 

That isn’t right. Who would they abduct next if I did nothing to see them pay?

And I’m tired of sitting back and doing nothing.

If I have to take them to court to see them punished, then so be it. 

They could take their apology and warning and shove it. Right up Cahum’s nose!

I do not understand Jareths (Journal Entry #75)

They reached for my mother’s hasha to clean the mess. I’ll admit it: I lost it right then. I started screaming and screeching. Yelling at them to stop. To just stop.

I was fighting almost as hard as I had been when they carried me away. 

That hasha… “No! It’s all I have left of my mother! Don’t ruin it! Please!”

I was hysterical. I pulled against the green hasha still binding my wrists, though looser than before. I tried to roll from the bed to get to mine. Anything.

Just…not my mother’s hasha. That’s the most important possession I have.

“Quiet her before she draws attention!” Cahum ordered. He tossed my hasha aside, thankfully. 

He must have decided his brothers weren’t working fast enough. Then he was there.

He scooped me from the bed. He pressed my face against his neck as the demonspirin spilled on the floor. He held me in place with one rock-hard, muscle-roped arm. Muffling the sounds I was trying to make. There was no way for me to fight him. His hands were so strong. “You will quiet. No one will harm that damned hasha. Hells, female, we could have tortured you, and you wouldn’t have fought as hard as you did over that stupid cloth. Do you have no sense, then? We’ve spent hours hunting for our sister with no answers except your name. We were told you were in on it.”

His arm tightened around me again, holding me in place. 

Could have tortured me? What exactly did he think this was, a meet-and-greet?

I thought about biting out his throat. 

I was just that angry.

But he had three brothers there. If I did that, they would kill me. 

I am not stupid. 

One of the brothers came at us. Navix. He had a dagger in his hand. I flinched and fought, certain he was going to use it to kill me. To silence me before they made me disappear. 

I felt sick again, too. 

I am going to die here, at the hands of my own Kind. 

For a moment, I hated every male Dardaptoan not of my own blood. Irrational perhaps, but true. 

I definitely despised every wealthy, high-ranking male Dardaptoan in this hotel right now, with the possible exception of Barlaam and Tol. They think they have the right to destroy the lives of those who don’t have what they do. Because they hold all the power. 

And the rest of us—we are powerless. 

I kicked and fought. And I bit. Right there on his neck. I sank my teeth into him so deeply I just knew he would scar. Would always remember me.

He roared, then hissed. His blood filled my mouth and I knew I needed it. 

I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to leave a wound so deep it will scar, so he would never forget me. 

They might kill me tonight, but I am going to make them pay for it.

Apparently, I said that very thing aloud when I pulled away from the hot, fresh blood.

“No, baby, no. No more biting, no more fighting.” His tone had turned soothing in an instant. That disconcerted me more than anything. His arms were hard around me. One hand cupped the back of my now sweaty and tangled hair. “We’re not going to hurt you. I promise. Just questions. And drink from me if you need. It is the least I owe you.”

The last was said at a whisper.

To my shock, he nuzzled my forehead.

He almost rocked me. Like I was a child he wanted to take care of.

“All I did was sit with him in the dining room because I didn’t know anyone else in there. And he saved my life yesterday when the demons came for me again. That is all. That is all.” I was saying it over and over. “I don’t know anything. I don’t. I don’t. I’d help if I could. M-meyka is my friend, too.”

I am ashamed to say I broke down. Weak.

Kellis would never have broken down like that. Neither would Ambrea. Or Riv.

But I am not as strong as them. I am not.

I just couldn’t take any more of this. I couldn’t.

It…is over now. I think. (Journal Entry #74)

They questioned me for hours. By the time they were satisfied that I knew nothing about what had happened to Meyka, the sun was bright through the windows. I was beyond exhausted. 

I mean…I had fought off demons just the day before. I had stayed out late with Ryrk after.

Cormac and Aodhan had been in my suite for hours early this morning. I was already exhausted before…this.

All I know is that as the hours passed, I started to despise Jareths more and more.

I felt every emotion coming off of them. 

And it…hurt. Every feeling they had stabbed at me like knives–anger, fear, panic, love for each other, disgust for the Lupoiux…determination, regret. The sheer volume of their feelings kept stabbing at me. And stabbing. It just wouldn’t stop.

I did not understand any of this at all.

“P-please…enough. I-I’ve told you all that I know. Can’t you just let me go?” 

I know the laws of my people. Working for Theo made that a given. They have abducted me and kept me against my will. For more than the six hours required by law to count as an abduction.

There should be some punishment for that. 

Not that I think there will be.

They are wealthy Jareths; I am literally just one poor Woald. Fit to serve the Jareths, but not worthy of their respect. That was the way it worked with most of those who wore Equan white around here.

No one will believe me about this. If they did, I am not certain that it would matter. The brothers had rarely touched me—they hadn’t had to. Their questions battered at me so quickly. Their emotions, their anger. They knew that I felt it. Someone had told my secret. Probably that evil guard. Or the healer brother had learned it when I was recuperating from demon poison. 

“Shouldn’t you be out there searching for her? Tracking them?”

The brother I had bitten just stood over me and glared—I had learned their names, at least. Boldek was the one from the Healers’ Hall. He had a healer-blue band on one arm. He was the one who watched the others carefully.

Maybe he thought he was somehow protecting me?

Some protector. He was just about as effective as that guard who had handed me over to them.

The next brother was Selton. I wasn’t certain how I thought about him. He was just as likely to accuse me of something as he was to ignore what was going on. Halfway through the interrogation, he stopped to read the Dardaptoan Herald! Out loud. To me. 

So I could supposedly calm myself down.

Like that was going to happen.

Navix was the quietest brother. He mostly stayed back unless the oldest brother—and it was clear who was in charge—ordered him to do something. 

Navix was the one who argued with the healer the most. Told him that I was the only way. That their cousin—my guard—had insisted I knew the answers. That Navix believed him.

I am not sure anything about Navix. 

But it is Cahum who terrifies me the most. The eldest. The most dangerous. The one I bit. It had been he who had carried me off in his arms.

He was the angriest. And the most afraid.

I could feel all of their anger, of course. And their worry for their sister. But the fury radiating from Cahum terrified me to my toes. The…hurt he was radiating.

Of course, I had bitten him deeply enough to draw serious blood. 

No male Dardaptoan took that kind of insult easily. Especially from one they probably considered beneath them.

I just stared up at him. And waited. 

My hands remained bound. 

I still wore the serviceable vestis and pardus I’d dressed in hours ago. They’d taken my mother’s hasha from me. Just to make me cooperative. They hadn’t damaged it yet, though Navix wiped his brow with it. Evil monster. 

I had no doubt they would just toss it in the trash when they were through with me. 

These beasts didn’t care how important my mother’s hasha is to me. 

I couldn’t help myself. It had been hours. I dropped my chin dejectedly. A tear escaped. 

I couldn’t tell them anything more than I already had. Yet I couldn’t make them believe me, either.

How could I keep doing this? I’m exhausted and my soul hurts—from their anger and pain. My own fear. 

Sweat beaded on my forehead again. My stomach rolled. Their anger hadn’t dissipated at all. Not at all.

And it was directed at me now for not giving them what they wanted.

“Please…” My head swirled as their…despair…started to surround me. Their grief was the sharpest knife I had ever felt. I slumped against the mattress. Defeated, at last. “I feel…so ill…”

“Enough!” the healer brother jerked to his feet. “This is getting us nowhere!”

He came right at me. Big and forceful and terrifying.

I flinched. I cried out and backed away, trying to bring my bound hands up between us. There were no flashing lights before my eyes. No. Everything went dark, then light again, and dark again. Light again. 

I was so dizzy.

And then…I lost it. 

I vomited right there on the floor of their ridiculously opulent suite, missing his shoes by inches. I wept. 

Begged the goddess in my head to just make my life what it used to be. 

And then I screamed as the lights came. Louder than I ever have before. Even though I knew it wouldn’t matter at all. The goddess had forsaken me long ago.

As the lights consumed me I heard Boldek yelling for Navix to hand him more of the demon brew…that I needed it desperately now. 

Before I shattered. 

Didn’t he understand? I already had.

I felt his healing gift around me then, as he offered demonspirin for my pain. But it was far too late. Far, far too late.

I don’t have their answers. (Journal Entry #73)

His hand went around my waist, and he lifted me—straight off my feet. 

I opened my mouth to scream. His other hand was already there. Then they just carried me away while my guard stood back and watched. 

I fought. I kicked. One lucky kick had my left foot connecting with Selton’s nose. He grunted. 

“Stop that!” his brother growled in my ear, far too close to my neck. “We won’t hurt you, female. But we will have our answers.”

I hissed against his hand, snapping and biting as much as I could. It was useless. Dardaptoan warriors are huge. I weighed a third what he did. 

But I had three times the determination of these four jerks combined. 

I kept fighting and kept fighting as he carried me back into a private hall. A private hall for the Jareth family that I have never been in.

Once they got me behind those walls, I could disappear forever. Security cameras aren’t exactly prevalent in the more private areas of the hotel, after all. 

I bit back a whimper when his hands tightened on me. 

“She’s a fighter. I can see why a wolf would pick her to while away the time. Quite beautiful. Unusual,” said the brother holding me. The hand over my mouth slipped. I pulled in a rush of air. “It’s ok, female. We’re not going to hurt you. You’re going to tell us what that wolf did with our sister.”

I bit him. As hard as I could. My fangs sank deep. He swore and fumbled me. I prayed he’d drop me.

He didn’t. 

Instead, his hand returned to my mouth and tightened to the point where I could not breathe. 

“That’s a good female,” I heard him say in a patronizing tone. “You just go right to sleep now. Don’t worry. We won’t hurt you…that’s a good girl…as long as you tell us everything you kn—”

Darkness took over. The last thing I felt was myself going limp in his arms.

Well, I’m Dardaptoan. We don’t stay out for long. 

When I opened my eyes, my hands were bound—with a Jareth-green hasha. We were in a room with similar green accents. The hotel, then. 

The brothers were arguing. 

None of them were even looking at me. 

I closed my eyes enough to look like I was still out, leaving them open just enough to watch my abductors. I forced myself to breathe steadily and evenly. 

“You’ve tied the female too tightly,” one brother said. He was close to me. I forced myself not to react when I felt his warm hands loosening the hasha around my own. “She’s three inches shorter than Meyka, and forty pounds lighter, for Goddess’s sake. What sort of threat could she pose?”

“She has the answers we need. She’s the only damned being in this goddess-forsaken place that does. Or have you forgotten that?”

Selton. That one was Selton—I’m almost certain of it. I’m starting to really despise that warrior. 

Maybe I should develop grudges against the Jareth House, in general?

“Does she? Or does she happen to just be a female he found interesting?” Another brother asked derisively. 

He grasped my chin in his fingers and turned my head to the light. 

I couldn’t help it. My eyes flew open, and I stared into his face. 

“That is most likely it. Just a comely female he whiled away the hours with,” he said in disgust, releasing my chin. “Perhaps she rejected him, and he went for Meyka instead. Or she wasn’t enough to satisfy an animal of his appetites. She looks rather frail. Unable to please a male of his…lineage.”

I couldn’t stop myself.

I’d show him frail and unsatisfying.

I snapped at him with my teeth. It truly was the only defense I had left.

I got him, too. My teeth sank in deeply enough to draw blood. And then I clamped down when he swore. 

He raised his other hand back. I couldn’t help it; I didn’t mean to flinch like a coward. 

But I didn’t want him to hit me. They had already abducted me—what was to keep them from striking me, too?

I let go of his hand and shrank back on the bed. I stared at the four of them, wondering just what in the Goddess I was supposed to do now.

That was the first moment I realized they’d tied me up and dumped me on a bed.

“I will not hit you!” he said harshly. As if the mere thought of it offended him. 

“Of course, she thinks you will,” the quietest brother spoke again. I looked at him. I have met him before. I am certain of it. His anger was directed at his brothers now. “She is weaker. And she is terrified. It wasn’t that long ago she was nearly killed by demons and some of their damned poison. I seriously doubt she helped a Lupoiux abduct a female tonight. From what I know of her, she just hides here in the hotel, trying to avoid the demons and mercenaries after her.”

In the Healers’ Hall. He was one of the healers who wanted to see what the demonspirin had done to me. “What do you want from me?”

“All in the three hells we want is our sister back,” the fourth brother finally said, as the one nearest me fussed with blankets he’d tossed over me. “What can you tell us about the wolf that took her? We know you have information we need. You’re going to give it to us.”

Why wouldn’t they just get it? I don’t know a thing about Ryrk and why he stole their sister! 

“I-I don’t know where she is. I don’t!”

It got real complicated next. (Journal Entry #72)

Her name is Meyka, she is the same age as I am, and we have known each other since we were young girls. Were even playmates at times. Her mother is a second cousin of Theo’s. And she is just…gone.

Her four brothers are nearly sick with worry, so I’ve heard. 

I ran into Selton, the youngest brother, in the lobby the day after Meyka was abducted. He glared right at me, as if I knew exactly what had happened to his sister. 

I don’t. 

And I told him that. I don’t think he believed me. 

I prayed to the Goddess, though I doubt she heard my prayers, for Meyka’s safety. Meyka is a professor of psychology at Dardanos U. Back when I was still taking classes on campus we grabbed coffee in the quad a few times. 

Rumors are saying she was taken right off the highway on her way home.

I have done nothing wrong. 

I don’t care what anyone here in Hotel Dread-anos has to say. 

Needless to say, I hid myself away in the private library for most of the morning. The new guard—who I strongly suspect is the one who first told Cormac and Aodhan about my so-called date with Ryrk—just followed along behind me, a suspicious look in his eyes.

Maybe it’s male Jareths, in general, I do not like. 

Them, or Adrastos.

Although…Mak is an Adrastos. 

I miss him. I’ll admit it. 

Of course, maybe it was just me building wishes in my head where he was concerned. I mean, it was a high-drama situation. Maybe my feelings for him weren’t all that real, after all. It’s been weeks; I don’t know what I believe about anything any longer.

I have now kissed a total of four males in my life (wow, I so get around! Insert sarcasm here!). There was a neighbor when I was sixteen and too young to know what I was doing. There was Barlaam under the mistletoe, Mak, and now Ryrk.

None of them are the male I am destined to be with, of course—since that male doesn’t exist, remember?—but I have enjoyed every kiss I have received.

But why must all this drama accompany the males I kiss?

I’m longing for my little room on the farm right now. In that room, everything made perfect sense.

Here, not so much. 

I checked out another book—this one on the five most-common demon languages—and returned the one about demon battles. I made notes from it yesterday, for Alaun, but it wasn’t a super-interesting read. 

Demons were battle-hungry creatures. And each battle was listed, along with strategic movements and casualties. 

I did find the sections on the Beskre, Phrymos, and Paleos demon battles mildly interesting, though.

Probably because Kellis is seriously intrigued by that ballad we found.

So is Alaun. She wanted me to find more research.

And Goddess help me, she wanted me to talk to the first demon guard I could. Ask him if he would mind being interviewed by my sister!

Dear Demon prince or king, or whatever you are, would you mind answering questions for me about your…romantic habits? You’re an Incubi? Even better? It’s for research! No! I don’t need first-hand experience…well, if you insist…

Maybe my next dinner date will be a demon?

I was walking down the hall from the library to the main lobby when four tall males in Jareth green suddenly surrounded me. 

I looked for my guard—who liked to walk fifteen feet behind me for some reason—but he was standing with his back to me.

He didn’t care at all that Selton and his brothers had cornered me. Not at all.

Some guard. 

Fear had my mouth going dry and my hands tightening on the books in my arms. I looked at Selton, the only one I knew at all. “H-have you found Meyka yet?”

Another, taller warrior wrapped his hand around my elbow and pulled me closer. One of his brothers took the books from my arms and the bag from off my shoulder. 

Selton pulled me nearer. I tried to hide the fear. 

I met Selton’s gaze straight on.

Fake it until you make it, Kellis always said. 

“No. And you’re going to tell us everything you know about that bastard Lupoiux.” The tallest, most frightening of the brothers said. “You’re the only one he’s been friendly with here at all. We have been told you helped him plot to steal our sister. Now you’re going to pay for it.”

I just looked at them. Terrified. 

Why didn’t they understand? I had no idea what had happened to their sister.

I certainly wasn’t involved in any plot.