Friendship Matters (Journal Entry #94)

NO. It is best if I just handle my problems myself. I am not even sharing what it is I hope to find with Kellis. She would only worry, and as the war with the rogue Lupoiux who refuse to follow their god’s edicts continues to pick up outside the city, Kellis is being worked harder than ever.

They are using her for a guard for some of the more timid Tanisses and Boltiers. I am worried; they took Blaire to the demon world weeks ago. No one has heard much from her since. Coty has been practically beside herself with fear.

More than any of the others, it is Coty that I fear for the most. I…can feel…that she knows something that she probably shouldn’t. It scares me. That I will not lie about. So many young females are coming to our world through pain and terror. How is that right? How can the goddess allow this?

Coty just wishes that her sisters remain safe. I wish the same for mine. That is all.

I want to go home. I want to go…normal again. Instead of this.

It is hard to fight the anger sometimes. Kellis suggested yesterday when she visited that I have every right to feel that anger. And that maybe it wasn’t the goddess who had done this to me, but the Fates?

I know nothing about the Fates. And I do not believe in such things. I believe in honor, and kindness, and working hard, and love. That is what I believe in.

And friendship.

It is friendship that had me leaving my little suite for the one down the hall that Coty shared with the eldest of her sisters. Their suite was barely bigger than mine but had two smaller double beds and a second dresser instead. You would think that as family with the new Dahn they would warrant better accommodations.

But no. Coty swears they have all been just forgotten about. Nothing much has changed in that regard, other than her second sister being taken back and forth to the demon world on a regular basis. 

I see Blaire sometimes. She’s usually trailing around after the new demon queen, an overwhelmed, intense expression on her face. I don’t mean to pry, but her fear is hard for me not to feel. And her determination. She wants to complete the task the queen has given her; I think she has somehow tied her entire sense of being up in that purpose.

It can’t be that healthy. I just know it isn’t.

Coty is worried, too. She has said as much.

Drew is in and out, with Mickey, Theo’s female. They are studying the laws of our people. Laws that the goddess said need to be updated, according to what Coty’s sister has told her.

I can agree there.

There is no reason for some of the ridiculously sexist rules that are still enforced in some of our tribes. I don’t need a male relative to speak for me in the courts. I did just fine on my own. 

I will continue to do just fine, as I am.

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