The Goddess (Journal Entry #93)

MY resolve lasted all of one day–that’s when the doubts set in. I am a champion at doubting myself, after all. Then I pulled my courage around me and sat down at my small desk that was wedged at the foot of my bed, and came up with a plan. I want out of this hotel. 

It has become my prison. 

No one looking at my situation can deny that. How could anyone? I am trapped here.

I have my notes. It is time I took the knowledge on demons I have collected and go the next step. Why is this such a difficult thing for me? I am so used to being invisible. Maybe it is me that wants it that way. Little Jume, no one. 

That is me. 

But…everyone says war is coming.

It has been only a scant handful of months since the Taniss Four were found. And the Lycurgus mate. Oh, she is so young. She is a beautiful mother, though. I have seen her. But she is just a few years younger than my Julea. Just a babe herself. It is unheard of to be mated so young. 

Why would the goddess be doing this?

If I had the courage…I would ask her.

She has been found. Just this week. The wolf Taniss, Jeirra’s male, found her in the woods near here.

Lupoiux had been attacking her. She had been rescued–by that evil creature, the wolf god. 

I wasn’t so certain that I believed the legends of them. But it is rather hard to deny that they are in the hotel.

I can feel her. She has been ill. Now…she is mated to that monster. Carries his babes. There is joy in her now. 

Yet because of her actions so long ago, so many of our people have been cursed. So many of our females lost and their babes…their poor, poor babes.

Yet she has found joy with the enemy of our people. While so many of our people suffered. 

It is hard for me to reconcile the female that has such hurt and pain for our people–I feel that too–with one who is happy to be in her male’s arms.

Her male. The very wolf god who leads those against who which we have fought for so long.

But that is just between us.

The goddess’s presence has not yet been announced. I just…felt her though the walls. That is all. 

It made me feel…restless. 

A part of me–the part that isn’t afraid of my own shadow–wants to march up to her suite and demand to know why she has done this to me. What I have done to deserve this.

But…she is the goddess. I am but one Dardaptoan female. I seriously doubt she has time for the likes of someone like me.

Besides. I have a different purpose now. 

Demons aren’t exactly of the Levian world like the goddess. No. They are from a different place.

Those who are after me aren’t from the goddess’s world. So how would she know what is going on?

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