Forgiveness? No. Understanding…Maybe. (Journal Entry #82)

I found out what was hurting Jayi and I have to admit, I am very surprised at it. Young Jayi has found her male; unfortunately, he is one of the warriors who abducted me. The healer.


Yet Jayi is denying him.

Because of what he did to me.

That is the last thing I want for my friend. Finding one’s male should be a beautiful, glorious thing. She deserves to have her male.

I told her that.

But she is very young, younger than Julea, and she is so certain her convictions are more important than having the male the goddess has chosen for her. I told her to go to him and grab him with both arms and hold him tight.

A mate is a gift from the goddess, after all. (If one believes, that is.)

I cannot say that I have forgiven Boldek and his brothers for what they did to me. But they greatly love their sisters. They thought they were doing what they had to in order to protect Meyka and her sister Nima.

How can I, with six sisters I would die to protect, blame them for that?

They did not know their actions would change me.

They admitted as much during the hearing.

I forgot to tell you about the hearing!

I was so certain that it was going to be an arduous ordeal, but Boldek and his brothers admitted their actions and submitted to the court’s ruling, contesting nothing.

I was the one who got to decide their punishment!

Four strong male warriors whose construction company has built half the houses in this city and were wealthy enough to provide the funds Riv needed to fix the house—well, maybe they were the gift from the goddess, after all?

My family is getting a new roof today. Because of what happened to me. But I have something else to worry about now. Jayi is hurting; and it is within my power to fix it.

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