Sometimes, I just feel things… (Journal Entry #50)

Destiny is our own. I heard that recently. 

I don’t believe it for one moment. I mean, Faith was attacked by demons yesterday. She was walking back from the company cafeteria with one of the young healers who was assigned to help with the study of demon medical knowledge, when the two of them were attacked by four demons.

I’m not supposed to know this. But Coty was so upset when I knocked on her door that I knew something had to have happened. Faith was hurt, a few scratches and bruises, but the healer who had been with her was horribly injured. 

They’ve given her the same demon concoction they gave me, and Faith said she’s getting better. She’s found her male, the healer has, and that undoubtedly helps. 

She’ll be ok. 

Coty said she saved Faith’s life and didn’t even hesitate. Of course she wouldn’t. She’s a Dardaptoan healer, after all. They will fight to the death to defend someone. Everyone knows that.

Except for Coty and her sisters. 

We chose to stay in the suite this time. Blaire was in there, and that poor female. She was extremely freaked out by what was happening.

And she felt a great deal of guilt. Coty had explained it to me. 

Blaire always felt she was to blame for what happened to the younger girls. It was a leftover from her childhood when their father would deliberately target one of the younger four sisters whenever Blaire had displeased him. Because he knew how much it hurt Blaire. 

I couldn’t help myself. The girl was hurting so strongly, I wrapped her in my arms the way I used to do Julea. “It will be ok. I promise. You did not cause this. It is the Goddess and the Four Fates at work.”

Then I had to tell them the legend of the goddess. And what I knew of the Four Fates. 

They had, of course, never heard these stories. I went into more depth, telling them the legends of the Woald family as well. 

felt like they were family somehow. Or they will be someday. 

You know how it is with Dardaptoans; how that familial bonds feel and grow over time. 

I feel that for the Boltier sisters. I don’t know if it’s our current situation, or if it’s something else. But I feel it. 

Blaire collapsed on my shoulder, just shaking. She never cried. Just shook against me. I did what I could to take her pain into my own heart, to lessen her grief somewhat. 

I’m not sure if I succeeded. 

When she finally pulled back, Coty was there with a mug of hot tea. “It’s not your fault we’re stuck here, Blaire. We’ve told you that. It’s his. And his alone. We’re just victims. We’ve been victims our whole lives.”

“But you don’t have to be victims forever,” I said gently. “We don’t know what the goddess has in store for each of us, whether Dardaptoan or not. This is just a season of your life now. And you have people who care about you here. I know that.”

She nodded. “I know. I just…I feel…

That was the word. Feel. 

Sometimes those of us with that little extra something don’t know how to put it into words. Feeling and knowing aren’t exactly the same thing as seeing. We’re not prognosticators. 

But we just sense some things at times. I do. I tend to sense feelings. Emotions. 

Empathy, my mother had always called it. Ambrea is the seer. She knows what will happen in the future. Riv gets premonitions, or feelings of danger or doom or rightness. 

I suspect some of the Boltiers have similar gifts. 

NOTE FROM CJ: Jume is referencing the short story “”…

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