I need a purpose! (Journal Entry #43).

I’m sorry I’ve been so morose. I’ve decided to keep this journal, even after my digital media class ends. It…feels like my actual lifeline to the outside world. To a life beyond these doors. I’m going to try to be more positive. 

I’ve been here a while now, I think. Mickey’s cousins are everywhere. Her entire family relocated to the resort. Everyone’s focus has been on them.

And on the demon king. He took Cormac’s sister with him a few days ago. In search of medicines for our people. I guess it’s going to be a permanent relocation for Kindara, as she’s now the queen of the demon world. What she’d found before saved my life. I’m praying to the goddess that her new mission is successful. 

It would mean so much. My own sisters—they’ll find their mates one day. The idea that they might be lost in childbirth terrifies me. I love them so much. 

The isolation from them is what hurts me the most about all of this. I can deal with being threatened, with knowing I’ll never have my male, but not being with my sisters, that’s the true nightmare.

I can’t keep going on like this, all purposeless. There has to be a reason the demons came to me in the first place. I can’t just sit back and let Cormac Jareth and Theo be responsible for answering my questions. For finding a way to get me back home. 

Why would they worry about me when they have so much else going on?

My first task is going to have to be finding out everything I can about the demon type that had attacked me. I can do that through my job with Alaun, in the resort library. I’ll just funnel all that info to Alaun. I’m going to ask her questions tonight. She is a bit of a night owl, preferring to write late at night when the rest of the house is asleep.

I’m still having the nightmares here. When they wake me late, I’ll get on my phone. See if my sister is still awake. She usually is. 

She’ll understand my new quest. And she’ll keep it quiet. I don’t want the rest of them to worry. Especially Kellis.

I’m actually more worried about her now. 

Something…Kellis has her own ghosts that haunt her…

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