I am Jume. And I am a prisoner… (Journal Entry #42)

I’ve started to come to the realization that I’m probably never going to be able to leave the resort. It’s been several weeks since the demon attack on me. I can’t help but wonder if after a few years pass, Theo and the others will just assume I am safe, and let me go.

Let me go. 

I do feel like I am being kept prisoner here. 

Or maybe I’ll just stay in this little 2-room suite and be forgotten. Just a forgotten charity case who needs to be protected from phantom demon attackers.

I used to dream my male was a member of Dardaptoan royalty and that I would one day be able to live in the resort, basking in the lap of luxury. 

I think every young girl dreams that at one time or another. Marrying the handsome Equa. The reality of living in the hotel is far different. Yes, there are many things to do—if you have the coinage to do so. Thanks to my work for Alaun, I have enough to adequately feed myself. Kellis earns probably the second-highest income after Alaun, but it is still very little for where we now find ourselves living. 

Both of us know we can’t stay in this limbo forever.

I suggested Kellis go home. Back to the others. Ambrea needs Kellis. Kellis does so much around the house—of course we all do, but with me gone, Ambrea and my sisters need Kellis more than I do.

Kellis isn’t too happy with the idea. I knew she wouldn’t be. She has a habit of picking the most vulnerable of us at any one time and then hovering. 

I’m not exactly keen on the idea of sending my sister home. She’s been my companion since this started. But it’s not fair for her to live her life in constant limbo either. And it’s not like I won’t see her almost every day. Her precinct is located a block over from the hotel. She was already coming back to my suite for lunch every day. I’m sure that will still happen when she can. 

But as I watched her walk out of the hotel tonight, I stood there and bawled. 

My world…it has changed. And I feel like a captive here. 

That’s exactly what I’ve become. 

I no longer go to classes. Theo spoke with the dean at DU. Everything will now be done virtually—for me. But it isn’t the same. Part of my joy in taking classes—until Olietus, anyway—had been in being with others who enjoyed learning. That has been taken from me now.

I no longer work with Theo, but to be honest, I’m not missing that at all. I didn’t realize how our archaic justice system actually pulled me down at times. 

I work with Alaun each day, and I get to video chat with her twice a day—supposedly about the books, but I think my older sister is just checking on me. 

Ambrea calls me three times a day. Usually, I’ll hear from my other sisters throughout the day, too. Even Alleah will take Ambrea’s cell phone and start texting me when she is supposed to be doing her schoolwork. 

Dear Goddess I miss them. 

I want to go home so badly. But I just know that isn’t going to be possible. It isn’t. I’m probably never going home ever again.

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