I’m not exactly sure what it is I’m supposed to write for this blog. Even for the assignments. I know they’re open-ended, but that’s never quite worked for me.

I like order. A clear list of to-dos makes my day complete, even if it drives most of my sisters bonkers. I’ve been worrying over these blog posts all week.

Alaun says to just sit down and start typing. Like it’s that easy.

Well, I suppose to her, it is. She’s written three million words now or something. (Although some of her earlier books were horrible, but don’t tell her I said that! They’ll never see the light of day—I hope!)

But exposing myself like this makes me nervous. Even if no one ever reads it. 

I’m a bit of a hermit. Like Alaun and Julea. 

Kellis, Riv, and Ambrea are always on my case about getting out and meeting other Dardaptoans, building friendships, but, to be honest, that has never been easy for me. I have a few cousins I’m reasonably close to around my age, but that’s about it.

I probably never will be that great at putting myself out there. The thought of talking to multiple people terrifies me. 

I am not looking forward to the speech class I’m required to take for my degree—that’s for sure.

I just want my degree. Ambrea has a bachelor’s degree. She was the administrative assistant for the head of our House until they had to fire her because money got too tight. That was about the same time our parents died. Now, she stays home and takes care of Alleah, taking in sewing work when she can while Alleah is in school. 

Alaun has taken all of the writing classes this college has to offer—when she can around her work schedule.

Alaun is famous. She’s not rich or anything, but she makes enough money that the seven of us have a home that is mortgage-free as of three years after our parents’ deaths and (most) of what we need. The rest of us do what we can. I pay my own way, contribute to the household expenses, and help with whatever Alleah—and Ambrea, who takes care of the house and stuff—need. With what’s left, I save.

I’ve been saving for these classes for eight years. 

I really don’t want to screw this up. 

I’m hoping to gain the skills I need to do something online. Something that will make it easier for me to stay home, but still pay my own way. At least until I get my pottery business established.

Right now, I work for a cousin at the main resort. 

I’m just a servant. I work with a first cousin, Theo, as his personal secretary, mostly. He’s the equa of the Sebastos House.

His mother was a Woald. My father’s sister. 

I just…fetch for him when he needs it, and keep his calendar. Those kinds of things. About twenty-five hours a week. With no degree, that or a custodial job were all I was able to get when I first started working. I’ve been with Theo ever since. 

It’s not what I want to do with my life. It gets me the money I need to pay my share of everything, and have enough to put a little back each week. It’s good enough. My needs are met. I have time to do other things. I just need to get up the courage to do that.

I have two years of classes to figure things out in. 

I’m sixty-eight. I don’t want to be Theo’s fetcher forever…